hurmmm..suddenly my feeling is disturbed & feels like my world is revolving in maximum speed..you pepz will be utterly surprise right with the title of this entry..well, blow your horn..I'm hell lots more bewilder then you all are..trust me!
Where do I begin? My feelings are imbalance right now & I'm very dismay..Let me ask you pepz something..How would you feel when somebody that you thought to be your friends or you've considered them as your siblings although in no way that they're related by blood to you..all this while thought you're a psycho without you knowing it?
Numb..shock..lost of words..mad..very very very sad & look-down..feel like being used, not being appreciated, disappointed? Yes, you better believe it, that's how I'm feeling at this very instant. All of a sudden your world change & so does your perspective towards yourself, others & life. Felt so stupid 'cos all these times you thought that the relationship you have with them was all smiles, care & trust..respecting each other but turned-out to be just a joke to them!
Damn right I was shocked when I first learned about it..just couldn't or didn't want to believe it. But that's the fact & it's true..the truth does hurt, isn't it?! It's beyond my wildest dream that things like this would happen especially when it turns out to be from my so-called friends or worst still, my make to believe given by fate sibling. Feels like I'm being betray and taken for a fool!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Why??? What did I do wrong??? How I wished you would say it upfront straight to my face..then perhaps I could explain myself. By doing what you did make me so defenseless, useless & automatically down-size my self-esteem. Goshhh!!! Only GOD knows the feelings & questions that revolved in my rusty brain right now!!! urghhhhh
I wished you say something to me..tell me the truth so I won't feel like a lunatic moaner! I just can't figured it out what did I do or say that makes you said that I'm a psycho..What??? (shit!!!!!! damn it!!! for GOD sake, will you just say something already?!!!)
Was it just my illusion??? Was I just being silly??? Was my mind playing tricks on me??? Or maybe I'm just being sarcastically pathetically annoyed all of a sudden???
Why does these things happen? Why does one feel unsatisfied with another, jealousy? I mean when you're friends with somebody, I just don't see any reason to be jealous with one another. Especially with me, c'mon I'm nobody just a human being like the rest of you. I am just an ordinary person with just enough to get by and try to live moderately as simple as I know how. I know that we can't satisfy everybody and we can't force anyone to be our friend. But it's kinda hard when out of the blue, one minute we're friends then the next hour we're strangers or worse, become enemy!
Oh, what the fuck..the hell with it!!! I'm just gonna ignore everything & pretend nothing happen. what the heck..the next time I won't be so good to exhort anybody. Let them think that I'm supercilious. What the hell since they thought of me that way somehow. Ironic you think? hell ya..you got that right!
Hey pepz! you should know that I'm the kind who will befriend with anybody regardless of who they are..to me there's nothing wrong in making friends with everybody just as long as you know your limitation depending on the situation you're in. Strangers at first then the next thing you know, you're associated with them. I'm not choosy nor fussy in making friends. I can befriends with just about anyone, be it of different gender, orientation, race, ethnic, religion, nationality, status or different age group.
I solely believe that with mix cultural friends we can share few thoughts and learn their way of life. Because when you know all there is to know about a person, it makes everything worthwhile & most of the time you'll learn something valuable to help you in pursuing your future. Of course we'll not be able to figured them all out but at least you know something about them to help you through the journey to a better friendship/acquaintanceship.
I don't mean to pride but I'm the one who will not take revenge on anyone. Oh ya! no doubt certainly I get mad alright but I won't get even. Why? because I believe that only GOD has the right to judge and pass-out the appropriate reciprocation. More over, I'm convinced that it's just a deflection of anger at that particular time & usually I'll get over it sooner than anyone can imagine. I don't like to keep grudge for a long time as I dearly believe that it's not good for our inner serenity and that it's just a waste of time and tears for that matter.
I tend to forgive people easily & I always do that every time before I go to sleep every night. But one think you should know, I won't forget. I'll be more vigilant the next time & take it as another valuable lesson in life. I'll entice my heart that everything will be over soon & that everything will be alright. I trust that things happen for a reason & someone just told me the other day that when GOD take away something or someone you love & adore, it's just GOD way to replace them with something even better. I guess I got no choice but to believe & hold on to it.
Pardon me with all the cursing there for a while. Hey! what do you know..I got feelings too! I'm no angel just human like you pepz after all. Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! I'm sorry I can't be perfect but I know I love the imperfectness, at least it keeps me real.
Welcome to the reality of life. Things happen when you least expected. I told you so..these sentence sounds familiar right?! Well don't worry it'll keep haunting us down for the rest of our lives. I learned my lesson well..also the common sentence in life. Come to think about it, it's funny how the more we try to avoid being caught in circumstances that we refused to participate the closer & often it gets to us.
Well, I guess that's life and everyday we're urge to learn and improve ourselves..and wish that it'll take easy on us. hahahaha..ya right!!! In your dream..nothing is easy in life especially when it comes to pursuing happiness and peace. I assume we just need to be more courageous & handle situation one at a time with patience & an open mind.
Disorientation as I can be right now with what the hell happened, what went wrong I just don't think its worth the heartache. I'm just glad that I still got friends that I can depend-on and pour my heart out. The friends that are willing to listen, advise and encourage me to take things positively. Thank you my friends and I do hope that you all would let me be a shoulder to cry on whenever you need one. Just beep me and I'll try to be there pronto. Thank you..GOD bless!
I'm officially brain-dead & insomniac!!! But I will live my life as I see fit and tell myself it's no biggy! I know that later in life I will laugh my heart out looking back at this matter..erkkk I hope! hahahaha
Besides I seriously think that I don't need somebody who's arrogantly pretentious to have as a friend. Thanked GOD I found out about it sooner. I'm still hoping that this is just a misunderstanding and that I'm just being silly. Help me out here pepz, I'm trying to be rational for a moment! hahahaha
I just have to tell it to myself that I'm lucky that I put my faith in Allah the Al Mighty. Alhamdulillah..
Life must go on right no matter what..so I presume that I should leave the past behind and move on to a better self upgrading..just as soon as I'm awake from this nightmare that is! hahahaha
Pepz..just so you all know, I don't regret knowing all the people that I met and got the pleasure to know them well be it they have been good or not to me. Because I know that I'm not that angelic lady myself, too. I make mistake, I bound to hurt somebody but I'm only human just like everybody else and I know it's not an excuse. So, for those whom that I've hurt without knowing it..I want to apologize & please forgive all the wrong that I've done. And I'm begging you the next time I've done something bad or that's not up to your expectation, please throw it to my face. So we can patch things up sooner. Please and thank you..GOD bless!
folks, please count your blessings not your problems aite! And remember there's no delight in owning anything unshared =)
I'm thankful that I'm surrounded by my beloved family and lovely friends. Need to rest for now, take a breather and empty my mind..
Toodles>>>EweY!!!
Where do I begin? My feelings are imbalance right now & I'm very dismay..Let me ask you pepz something..How would you feel when somebody that you thought to be your friends or you've considered them as your siblings although in no way that they're related by blood to you..all this while thought you're a psycho without you knowing it?
Numb..shock..lost of words..mad..very very very sad & look-down..feel like being used, not being appreciated, disappointed? Yes, you better believe it, that's how I'm feeling at this very instant. All of a sudden your world change & so does your perspective towards yourself, others & life. Felt so stupid 'cos all these times you thought that the relationship you have with them was all smiles, care & trust..respecting each other but turned-out to be just a joke to them!
Damn right I was shocked when I first learned about it..just couldn't or didn't want to believe it. But that's the fact & it's true..the truth does hurt, isn't it?! It's beyond my wildest dream that things like this would happen especially when it turns out to be from my so-called friends or worst still, my make to believe given by fate sibling. Feels like I'm being betray and taken for a fool!!! arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Why??? What did I do wrong??? How I wished you would say it upfront straight to my face..then perhaps I could explain myself. By doing what you did make me so defenseless, useless & automatically down-size my self-esteem. Goshhh!!! Only GOD knows the feelings & questions that revolved in my rusty brain right now!!! urghhhhh
I wished you say something to me..tell me the truth so I won't feel like a lunatic moaner! I just can't figured it out what did I do or say that makes you said that I'm a psycho..What??? (shit!!!!!! damn it!!! for GOD sake, will you just say something already?!!!)
Was it just my illusion??? Was I just being silly??? Was my mind playing tricks on me??? Or maybe I'm just being sarcastically pathetically annoyed all of a sudden???
Why does these things happen? Why does one feel unsatisfied with another, jealousy? I mean when you're friends with somebody, I just don't see any reason to be jealous with one another. Especially with me, c'mon I'm nobody just a human being like the rest of you. I am just an ordinary person with just enough to get by and try to live moderately as simple as I know how. I know that we can't satisfy everybody and we can't force anyone to be our friend. But it's kinda hard when out of the blue, one minute we're friends then the next hour we're strangers or worse, become enemy!
Oh, what the fuck..the hell with it!!! I'm just gonna ignore everything & pretend nothing happen. what the heck..the next time I won't be so good to exhort anybody. Let them think that I'm supercilious. What the hell since they thought of me that way somehow. Ironic you think? hell ya..you got that right!
Hey pepz! you should know that I'm the kind who will befriend with anybody regardless of who they are..to me there's nothing wrong in making friends with everybody just as long as you know your limitation depending on the situation you're in. Strangers at first then the next thing you know, you're associated with them. I'm not choosy nor fussy in making friends. I can befriends with just about anyone, be it of different gender, orientation, race, ethnic, religion, nationality, status or different age group.
I solely believe that with mix cultural friends we can share few thoughts and learn their way of life. Because when you know all there is to know about a person, it makes everything worthwhile & most of the time you'll learn something valuable to help you in pursuing your future. Of course we'll not be able to figured them all out but at least you know something about them to help you through the journey to a better friendship/acquaintanceship.
I don't mean to pride but I'm the one who will not take revenge on anyone. Oh ya! no doubt certainly I get mad alright but I won't get even. Why? because I believe that only GOD has the right to judge and pass-out the appropriate reciprocation. More over, I'm convinced that it's just a deflection of anger at that particular time & usually I'll get over it sooner than anyone can imagine. I don't like to keep grudge for a long time as I dearly believe that it's not good for our inner serenity and that it's just a waste of time and tears for that matter.
I tend to forgive people easily & I always do that every time before I go to sleep every night. But one think you should know, I won't forget. I'll be more vigilant the next time & take it as another valuable lesson in life. I'll entice my heart that everything will be over soon & that everything will be alright. I trust that things happen for a reason & someone just told me the other day that when GOD take away something or someone you love & adore, it's just GOD way to replace them with something even better. I guess I got no choice but to believe & hold on to it.
Pardon me with all the cursing there for a while. Hey! what do you know..I got feelings too! I'm no angel just human like you pepz after all. Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! I'm sorry I can't be perfect but I know I love the imperfectness, at least it keeps me real.
Welcome to the reality of life. Things happen when you least expected. I told you so..these sentence sounds familiar right?! Well don't worry it'll keep haunting us down for the rest of our lives. I learned my lesson well..also the common sentence in life. Come to think about it, it's funny how the more we try to avoid being caught in circumstances that we refused to participate the closer & often it gets to us.
Well, I guess that's life and everyday we're urge to learn and improve ourselves..and wish that it'll take easy on us. hahahaha..ya right!!! In your dream..nothing is easy in life especially when it comes to pursuing happiness and peace. I assume we just need to be more courageous & handle situation one at a time with patience & an open mind.
Disorientation as I can be right now with what the hell happened, what went wrong I just don't think its worth the heartache. I'm just glad that I still got friends that I can depend-on and pour my heart out. The friends that are willing to listen, advise and encourage me to take things positively. Thank you my friends and I do hope that you all would let me be a shoulder to cry on whenever you need one. Just beep me and I'll try to be there pronto. Thank you..GOD bless!
I'm officially brain-dead & insomniac!!! But I will live my life as I see fit and tell myself it's no biggy! I know that later in life I will laugh my heart out looking back at this matter..erkkk I hope! hahahaha
Besides I seriously think that I don't need somebody who's arrogantly pretentious to have as a friend. Thanked GOD I found out about it sooner. I'm still hoping that this is just a misunderstanding and that I'm just being silly. Help me out here pepz, I'm trying to be rational for a moment! hahahaha
I just have to tell it to myself that I'm lucky that I put my faith in Allah the Al Mighty. Alhamdulillah..
Life must go on right no matter what..so I presume that I should leave the past behind and move on to a better self upgrading..just as soon as I'm awake from this nightmare that is! hahahaha
Pepz..just so you all know, I don't regret knowing all the people that I met and got the pleasure to know them well be it they have been good or not to me. Because I know that I'm not that angelic lady myself, too. I make mistake, I bound to hurt somebody but I'm only human just like everybody else and I know it's not an excuse. So, for those whom that I've hurt without knowing it..I want to apologize & please forgive all the wrong that I've done. And I'm begging you the next time I've done something bad or that's not up to your expectation, please throw it to my face. So we can patch things up sooner. Please and thank you..GOD bless!
folks, please count your blessings not your problems aite! And remember there's no delight in owning anything unshared =)
I'm thankful that I'm surrounded by my beloved family and lovely friends. Need to rest for now, take a breather and empty my mind..
Toodles>>>EweY!!!
uhuk uhuk dek i know how ur feeling now..i always trust u.dont be sad eh..x suke le nengok adik cumil ni sedih..nanti x santek...hehe akak kn ade muleh kungsi2 masalah..banyakkan sabo eh..take care eh my sis.
myFren dear.. tamoe sedeyh2 keyh myFren.. just ignore it bebeh.. now u noe what u should do rite?? im here willing to listen to ur probs dear.. i can be ur shoulder myFren.. muaxx!! remember what i said in our msg rite?? hehe nway take care dear.. muaxx!! no sad2 anymore ok.. =)