Toxic Friend Anyone..

Is your friend TOXIC? backstabbing, complaining, needy, flaky, jealous?

We've all had one: that friend who has gone from fun to fundamentally annoying. She's whiny, or jealous or, in some cases, just plain mean - & you're left wondering why you ever hung out with her in the first place.

Spending time with a friend should be mostly joyful, or at least positive. If a friend puts you down, drains your emotional energy, takes without giving, can't be happy for you, isn't supportive when you need her - that's a toxic friend.

You can stop toxic friend behaviour by taking control of the situation. Any of these ladies look familiar?

The BACKSTABBER
Fatal flaw: She gossips about you to all your other friends. She tells your crush, you're seeing someone so she has a shot with him.
Warning signs: Is she always critical of you? Does she try to tell you how to live your life? This may not be someone you want in your life. If you notice this woman undermining co-workers or mutual friends, that's also visible sign.
Can your friendship be saved? If she's really negative all the time and you don't like it, you might reconsider how much time you really want to spend around her.
When it's time to bail: If she's verbally abusive to other people, if she's inconsiderate of you - that's someone to steer clear of.

The COMPLAINER
Fatal flaw: She's never happy - but she is happy to talk about it. From her bad job to her roommate issues, you've started feeling less like a friend & more like a therapist.
Warning signs: When you are with her do you fell happy, or drained & annoyed? If she's an energy vampire, sucking all the life out of you because she is always complaining, you should consider spending less time with her - or no time at all.
Can your friendship be saved? The complainer might just need someone to steer her into a different line of conversation. With the complainer, I might offer some sympathy about the problem, then change the subject.
When it's time to bail: If she's simply expects more than you can give, gently tell her you want to be there for her, but you need a break from the topic once in a while. And if she keeps complaining, send her a bill! hahahaha

The JEALOUS ONE
Fatal flaw: You save up for six months for a new suit & she buys the same one the next week. And she can't say enough derogatory things about your best friend.
Warning signs: If you're getting to know someone & she makes remarks about how some other woman has all the luck or how everyone has a better life than she, these are signals she's jealous & discontent.
Can your friendship be saved? Extreme jealousy can turn a good friend into someone who isn't happy for you.
When it's time to bail: When your friend's toxicity is harming the friendship, it's time to move away.

The NEEDY NUISANCE
Fatal flaw: Her life is always in disarray, & she's calling you for more rides, cash & comfort.
Warning signs: At first you try to offer support. But if it becomes consistent & over-whelming - & almost all you talk about - take notice!
Can your friendship be saved? For an overly needy friend, you need to set some boundaries.
When it's time to bail: If she's so draining that it's taking its toll on you, you have to distance yourself.

The FLAKE FRIEND
Fatal flaw: She forgets you have plans & leaves you sitting in a restaurant for hours - alone.
Warning signs: The scatterbrain has no respect for your time, she's always late & doesn't apologise.
Can your friendship be saved? She's someone it's time to say no to. Tell her you'll give her five minutes after the appointed time & then leave.
When it's time to bail: The inconsiderate friend might need a direct approach. Tell her how you feel & let her know her behaviour as a friend is not working for you.

How can you avoid becoming the Toxic Friend? Your toxic friends didn't become a burden overnight, so how do you make sure you're not dumping on your crew?

Toxic friends are the result of a competition between women that is unhealthy. If you can admit you're sometimes feeling jealous or envious of a friend but you can also keep these emotions in check & not harm your friendship, then you will avoid becoming toxic.

When you have problems, it's OK to discuss them with friends but there's a limit. If you have trauma in your life, for instance, you lose your job, it's important to remain reliable & supportive to your friends who might not be going through so much upset.

Most importantly, don't feel they have to go through what you're going through to make you feel better. It's healthy to recognise your own strengths & that of your friends as well.

So what do you all think? AM I TOXIC???